You may be wondering why on this night before on of the biggest days of my life I am making an entry in my LiveJournal. Well there are many reasons, including the fact that I need to capture and record this moment to remember always and because my bride, due to some old tradition is not allowed to spend the night with me. Today was truly an emotional roller coaster. I woke up this morning and was frustrated because I had failed miserably at writing vows the night before. Luckily at somepoint between 6 and 7 I had a breakthrough and it all came together. It actually came together a little too well and the next thing I knew tears were streaming down my face. It had been quite a while since I had last cried, probably over a year, and I couldn't control myself. After working so hard in the logical world of computers over the last few weeks, my emotional side finally got its turn to speak and apparently it had a lot to say. For the next few minutes I just held Jen and let it all out. I finally gained my composure and sat down to finish the rest of the vows and was finally ready to print it.
After coming back from the gym I hopped in the car and went to pick up my tuxedo in Amesbury. The tux fit perfectly and I dropped it off at my mother's house. I washed the car because it is going to be in the lime light tomorrow and also helped Zack fix his BMX bike. On the drive home my emotions began to get the best of me and I was on the verge of tears again. I did make it home without shedding one, and ate a nice big sandwich, which really helped calm my nerves.
We finally set off for the hotel Jen and all of her relatives are staying in tonight. Upon arriving I was whisked away on a Magical Mystery Tour of relatives rooms. We wandered the halls of nearly every floor to meet an uncle from here and a cousin from there. It was crazy. A little later than I hoped we left for the rehearsal and when we got there most of the people were already there. We quickly walked through the ceremony and jetted for our dinner at Hard Cover.
There was a bit of an issue with tables at first, but it was quickly resolved and we all sat down for a nice dinner. It was great to see everyone and it seemed like a good time was had by all. I actually got up and played the guitar for everybody and felt I did fairly well. I did get a little teary in the middle of one of the songs, but managed to pull through and finish. After I performed Brendan showed the slideshow he put together and I lost it. Some of the photos just brought crocodile tears to my eyes. It was really hard seeing photos of me with people who have passed on. Hopefully I have taken things from them and their legacy lives on today through me. So basically I was a mess through most of it, but I think its good to let out that raw emotion. It helps make you feel human.
Things wrapped up after the slideshow, so Jennifer and I had to part ways until 1PM tomorrow, when she will emerge from the farm house and my eyes will fall upon my beautiful bride. Its all very exciting and a bit nervewracking, although I do blame most of the nervousness on things that are beyond my control, like the cake, the DJ or the weather. I want all of these things to go smoothly and without flaw. Certainly everything will work out and people will walk away with some story to tell, whether it be the wedding where they saw the heaviest down pour of rain ever or the wedding where the bride and groom were so lost in their new found marriage that they looked as if they didn't have a care in the world. I am hoping for the second one, but either way it will certainly be a memorable wedding for me.
May the rain come, but only after we are finished with the ceremony.
Keegan (The Groom)
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